By Erin Manske
“I can’t keep operating like this.” For many executive directors, that thought shows up even when things appear to be working well from the outside. If the workload seems manageable on paper, the strain is usually less about how much you’re doing and more about what you’re carrying. Alongside your role, you may also be:
- the final decision-maker on most issues
- the one connecting incomplete information
- the person with the clearest view of financial and strategic tradeoffs
Because of that, many conversations naturally land in the same place: What do you think we should do? Given the context you’re holding, it makes sense that the decision comes back to you. This dynamic is what we refer to as holding the mental load, and it’s exhausting.
The Data Behind the Feeling
This pattern isn’t unusual. In fact, it’s predictable. Research across sectors points to the same underlying dynamic:
- Studies on executive burnout consistently show that decision fatigue and cognitive overload (not just hours worked) drive exhaustion.
- Harvard Business Review has documented the growing volume and complexity of decisions leaders face, often with incomplete information and high stakes.
- Research from McKinsey & Company has found that unclear decision roles and lack of shared context slow decision-making and create bottlenecks.
- In the nonprofit sector specifically, The Bridgespan Group has shown how underinvestment in financial infrastructure and leadership capacity concentrates decision-making at the top.
In other words, when context is concentrated, decision and the mental load often land on a single leader.
What’s Really Going On
When people don’t have full visibility into the financial picture, aren’t clear on the constraints or tradeoffs, and bring you issues rather than recommendations, it’s a sign that they are asking themselves, “what does my boss want?” Answering this question leads them to defer upward, become more cautious, and look for signals about priorities.
Think about it like this.
- Leaders hold most of the context.
- Separately, staff and managers bring initial thinking to leaders.
- Leaders use context to fill in the gaps.
- Leaders make the final call and add more unseen context.
This is a repeating cycle where context (and mental load) continues to become heavier and more isolated.
It can feel like a capability issue, but the tension is that you know you’ve hired a smart, thoughtful, and experienced team. More often, this is a signal that your team doesn’t yet have access to the context needed to fully contribute.
When that context is shared, the pattern begins to shift. Instead of asking what does my boss want?, people begin asking: What best advances our mission, given what we know?
With that shift:
- staff and managers bring more fully developed thinking, including options and tradeoffs
- leaders focus on refining and aligning decisions rather than filling in gaps
- decisions are made closer to the work, with a shared understanding of priorities
This creates a dynamic that builds ownership, confidence, and stronger decision-making across the team. The capability was there all along. With the right context, people are better positioned to use it.
From Insight to Action
If carrying the mental load is the result of concentrated context, the path forward is to gradually redistribute that context through a few intentional shifts.
- Share Context So Others Can Think With You
When more people have access to the right context, the burden on any one leader decreases. This means going beyond sharing updates to sharing meaning. This could be what you’re balancing, where there’s flexibility, and which constraints matter most. As context becomes clearer, people are better positioned to interpret situations, contribute ideas, and move work forward. - Redefine How Decisions Are Owned and Made
Clarity around decision ownership, paired with a culture that supports informed risk-taking, changes how teams engage. In practice, this often looks like shifting expectations from What should we do? to Here are a few options, the tradeoffs, and my recommendation. Over time, this builds confidence, encourages ownership, and distributes decision-making more effectively.
One way to reinforce this is introducing a norm like: come with a problem and a point of view. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it helps move thinking forward and reduces the number of decisions that come back to you.
- Invite in a Thought Partner
Even with these shifts, there is often a period where you are still carrying more than is sustainable. Redistributing context takes time, and the decisions don’t slow down in the meantime. A thought partner can help you think through complex decisions, pressure-test tradeoffs, and translate them into action.
At Spectrum Nonprofit Services, this is the kind of work we support every day. We partner with nonprofit leaders who are navigating complex decisions and trying to move a vision forward, often without enough protected space to think through it. Our role is to create that space and support you in making decisions more clearly now, while building a system where you don’t have to carry them alone later.
Visit our Nonprofit Resource Hub for more actionable insights from the Spectrum Nonprofit Services team.
Photo by Alessandro Bianchi on Unsplash